For decades, schools have worked hard to help children understand their emotions.
We have developed feelings charts, emotion check ins and regulation systems designed to help children recognise how they feel.
This work is important.
But increasingly, I find myself wondering whether we have been missing a crucial piece of the puzzle.
What if the question is not simply:
“How are you feeling?”
What if we also need to ask:
“What is your energy telling you?”
One of the biggest challenges in education is that we often respond to what we can see.
We see the child who is distracted.
The child who refuses.
The child who cannot get started.
The child who is restless.
The child who appears overwhelmed.
The child who has completely shut down.
We call these behaviours.
But behaviour is only the visible part of the story.
Underneath every behaviour sits a brain, a body and a nervous system working hard to manage the demands of the environment.
When we focus only on behaviour, we risk missing the information the behaviour is trying to provide.
Many children can identify emotions.
Far fewer can recognise what is happening within their bodies.
They may not recognise:
Yet these are often the factors that have the greatest impact on learning, participation and wellbeing.
As adults, we often recognise these states in ourselves.
We know when our concentration is fading.
We know when our stress levels are rising.
We know when we need a break, movement, connection or recovery.
Children deserve the same understanding.
Over the last decade, research from neuroscience, developmental psychology and education has increasingly highlighted the importance of physiological regulation in learning and development.
The work of researchers such as Stephen Porges, Bruce Perry and Adele Diamond has helped us better understand the relationship between nervous system regulation, executive functioning and learning.
We now know that when children experience safety, connection and regulation, the brain becomes more available for higher order thinking.
When children experience overwhelm, uncertainty or stress, access to skills such as planning, organisation, emotional control, flexible thinking and problem solving becomes significantly more difficult.
In simple terms:
A child cannot consistently access executive functions if their nervous system is struggling to feel safe.
This is not a matter of motivation.
It is a matter of capacity.
Over the past few months, I have been developing a new model called the E.N.E.R.G.Y. Framework™.
The framework has emerged from years of working alongside neurodivergent children, families and school staff, combined with my ongoing interest in executive function, regulation and inclusive practice.
At its heart is a simple belief:
Behaviour is often the outcome.
Energy is the information.
Rather than asking what behaviour needs to change, the framework encourages adults to become curious about what the child’s brain and body may be communicating.
It shifts the conversation away from compliance and towards understanding.
Away from control and towards connection.
Away from behaviour management and towards nervous system awareness.
This perspective is particularly important for neurodivergent children.
Autistic learners, ADHD learners, children with trauma histories and those with demand avoidant profiles often experience the world differently.
Many are working significantly harder than adults realise simply to manage sensory information, social expectations, uncertainty, transitions and cognitive demands.
What can appear as refusal, avoidance, inattention or challenging behaviour may actually be a reflection of changing capacity and increasing nervous system load.
Understanding this difference has the power to transform how we support children.
I believe the future of regulation is not about teaching children to fit into systems.
It is about designing systems that better understand children.
It is about helping children recognise what is happening within their brains and bodies.
It is about building self awareness before self regulation.
It is about strengthening executive function through co regulation, safety and connection.
Most importantly, it is about preserving dignity.
Because children are not problems to solve.
They are human beings trying to navigate a world that often asks more of them than their current capacity can provide.
Over the coming months, I will be sharing more about the E.N.E.R.G.Y. Framework™ and how it can support schools, families and professionals to move beyond behaviour and towards a deeper understanding of regulation, participation and independence.
For now, I leave you with one question:
What if behaviour is not the most important thing we should be paying attention to?
What if energy tells us far more?
Faria Alam
Founder, Nurturing Neurodiversity®
Design Determines Dignity™
